As @mrm knows, I started on the Desktop version (linux). This was great, but I needed to shut it down to get work done because it was hungry on CPU and memory.
I then switched to Docker on a VM on a different server and I persevered for quite a while. Most of my 115k item library had imported via the desktop version, but I was seeing network issues rendering the thumbnails via docker (reverse proxied) and it would give up syncing my library.
Today I took the plunge and installed a very minimal Ubuntu VM and am now running PS in Server mode. It is wonderful. My docker woes are gone, and the resync added 25k items in about 8 hours.
My library is actually NFS mounted from another machine running ZFS, so I run my DB locally on the VM with forceLocalDbReplica = true.